Age: 53
male
Bert Kreischer (born November 3, 1972), nicknamed "The Machine", is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, reality television host and actor. In 1997, he was featured in an article in Rolling Stone while attending Florida State University. The magazine named Kreischer "the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country." The article also served as inspiration for the 2002 film National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Kreischer has served as host of the television series Hurt Bert on FX as well as Bert the Conqueror and Trip Flip on Travel Channel. He is slated to appear in The Machine, a comedy film based on his life. He is the producer and host of Bertcast, a weekly comedy podcast on the All Things Comedy network. He is also the co-host of the 2 Bears, 1 Cave podcast with fellow comedian Tom Segura, and co-host of the Bill Bert podcast with actor and comedian Bill Burr.
Three months after the bloody showdown with Electro, Peter Parker is still learning what it means to survive as both a teenager and a hero. Near the end of his freshman year at Midtown High, Peter tries to find balance again — focusing on school, friends, and his new science teacher, Dr. Curt Connors, a brilliant biologist and former Oscorp researcher who becomes a mentor and father figure. But when Connors experiments with reptilian DNA to regenerate his lost arm, the formula mutates his body and mind, giving birth to The Lizard — a monstrous creature that sees humanity as a disease to be purged. As attacks spread through New York’s sewers and alleys, Spider-Man becomes the only one capable of stopping his teacher before the city drowns in primal terror. Spider-Man: Reptilian Instinct is an R-rated descent into mutation, morality, and the cost of science without restraint. Haunted by guilt and exhaustion, Peter must face the horrifying reality that the monster he’s fighting is a man he admired — and one who mirrors his own obsession with saving others at any cost. As Connors’ transformation spirals out of control, the line between man and beast blurs, forcing Peter to confront what kind of hero he’s becoming. In a savage final confrontation beneath New York’s streets, Spider-Man must make an impossible choice — save the man, or stop the monster. Either way, innocence dies.
